"Fearless snake killing motherfucker"
"Personally victimised by shampoo"
IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT FRED? LIKE SERIOUS??? dead dead dead?
The second I met Sam I felt as though I had known him a year. I’d say he’s an old soul, so silly, a total ‘bloke’. He made me feel so confident, I trusted him right away.
Michael Cera’s Most Michael Cera-esque Movie Lines
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*TURNS OFF WIFI* PAY ATTENTION TO ME
— (via morosea)
there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that
— (via psych-facts)
"well SOME cops are good"
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
mom it’s NOT porn they’re POLE DANCING ANIMALS goddamn
There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc.
It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk
she was training herself to be happy oh my god